Jeremy Beth Michaels: The Funny Side of Beauty


I’m Late! Help!

I get it. You *accidentally* pressed the snooze button on your alarm 6 wonderful times this morning and overslept. And of course, you have that big meeting today and plans after work so this is not the day to be dawdling or running late. You need to be out the door and look presentable in twenty minutes. WTF? Instead of running around like a nut job in a full-blown panic, don’t you worry I got you. All you need are these five items and then you’ll look as if you’ve just left a Sephora after a custom makeover.  




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Now first things first, I am going to assume that you’ve washed your face and always moisturize your skin before applying any makeup. If not, your makeup, by the end of the day will look crack-y (not a really good look on anyone even if it is super close to Halloween) and to make matters worse, you’ll look older and who wants that? Yep, all I hear is crickets too.

After you’ve hydrated your skin you can even out your complexion. You can do this by either using a gel-type foundation or a tinted moisturizer, either one will camouflage any discolorations or imperfections while smoothing also out the surface for your makeup to follow.

One of my favorites is from Marc Jacobs. This stuff is the sh*t! The coverage is buildable if you want a fuller face, but in times like these, you only need a couple of pumps of this magic sauce to look gorgeous with minimal effort. I like it because it’s oil-free, has a naturally radiant finish and also has some lovely soft-focusing properties that blur out any imperfections.

The next thing you’re going to want to do is apply some concealer around your eyes. This brightens up your whole face and gives the appearance of a well-rested look. (Even if you really got home at 4 am, I won’t tell if you don’t.)

The one I’m completely hooked on right now is from It Cosmetics. What I love about this concealer is that it brightens the under eye area by blurring out any fine lines and literally erasing any dark circles. This little tube of life is filled with good-for-your-skin ingredients like peptides, hyaluronic acid, antioxidants, etc. So you can feel good about hiding any flaws because there are long-term health benefits as well. In addition to all that this concealer is waterproof! So, I can cry like a baby or go swimming in the ocean and still look fabulous! Hell yeah, I’m in!

Now you’re ready to add some color and swiftly complete your look. Adding blush will add some dimension to your flawless-looking complexion that you’ve just completed. For me, one that I always have handy is the Nars’ mini blush duo in Orgasm/Laguna, mainly because it has all I need to look like I’ve actually seen the sun this summer and had time to capture that peachy- sunlit glow. And c’mon’, you can’t help but love the name as well, right? Hi boys!

To get this look, gently sweep the bronze/Laguna color in all the places the sun would naturally hit your face. In the beauty biz, we like to call it The Backwards 3. And that’s literally the shape you go in, start at your forehead/temple area and sweep a bit of the bronzer from your temples to the hollow of the cheekbones and then finish at your chin line, basically, you just do a backward 3, simple enough, right? Then, follow on the other side this will give you that natural glow. Now, you can move onto to your blush. Get some of that lovely peach/Orgasm on your brush and start at the apples of your cheeks and blend upward and outward. This really brightens up your whole face and it’s so small you can reapply if you need to throughout the day.


Second, to last on this quick beauty list is using a mascara. Not only does applying mascara make your eyes look brighter it makes them look bigger as well. I’ve tried tons of mascaras on the market but I always seem to come back to this one from Too Faced. It’s like the one that will NEVER get away. Not only is it one of the cheapest mascaras on the market it, doesn’t dry out like some of the more expensive brands. It makes my lashes full, long and luscious. Partly because of the big fluffy brush it really enables you to coat each and every lash. And it’s called Better Than Sex! Wink, Wink is right.


Beauty Expert Jeremy Beth Michaels


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Finally, all you’ll need to pull this look together is a swipe of lip-gloss. My friend Sandy always says, “lipstick is like High Heels for your face.” I totally agree, you can’t leave your shoes at home when you go out, so why would you forget about your lips?

The one I can’t get enough of and truthfully, I’ve already gone through two tubes of and it’s from our girl RiRi, yep, she has her own makeup line now. This Fenty gloss in color Gloss bomb is the most gorgeous bronzy-rose shimmer that is universally flattering for anyone’s lips. Even Jay-Z’s. I kid, but seriously, you can totally thank me later. Get it now!

See, that wasn’t too arduous and in twenty minutes you’re ready to slay your day, all day with these five easy steps! Truthfully, you can use any variations of these products; I just picked my current favorites. Now get the hell out of the house! You’re late!

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